Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Four weeks ... and a song

Today marks four weeks, as if you couldn't tell from the heading of this posting. Physically, I'm not sure how much has really changed from week three. I think the swelling is dissipating slowly. I've still got some residual puffiness around my cheeks and at the front of my chin. I'm still numb in a patch on my left cheek near my nose and around most of the front of my chin and lower lip. The area seems to have become smaller and I think that the lower lip and chin are starting to get
some feeling back. It's really hard to tell, though.

Sleep is, well, better. I'm dreaming. I'm able to sleep on my back without snoring or snorting so loudly I wake myself up. I still wake up at least twice a night, often three or four times. I'm not sure why, but I know that others have had the same experience. My guess is that my body just got used to doing that. But, I usually need a nap in the middle of the day and I've had a few days here and there that were reminiscent of the old apnea days. But, one thread (be sure to read the followups) I found on Sleepnet persuaded me that it'll still be several weeks if not a few months before I can make any judgments on how successful this has been at dealing with my sleep apnea, or ending it, as in the title of this blog.

Still, it is a little frustrating. Some of it could be due to unreasonable expectations I had going into this. I think that, if I had it to do over again, I'd be clear that the doctor isn't going to reach into my mouth and flip some switch that'll magically make me sleep right. It's more like a seed that's been planted that'll take some time to develop. Things are definitely better. How much better remains to be seen.

I'm going to post before/after photos either in this space today or later this week. Stay tuned!

One thing I do hope changes this week is that I get these infernal bands off my teeth. For almost three weeks now, it's been smoothies, soups, milk shakes, oh, a smoothie, some soup, maybe a milkshake, with perhaps a big glass of chocolate milk thrown in for variety. Oh, I've tried different soups and I've fortified them with baby food (woohoo!) and oils. But, between that and mumbling through clinched teeth, I'm pretty much done with being locked down.

My next appointment is Thursday. Surely, my chompers can get sprung from this prison. In the meantime, since they are in prison, I thought I'd write a blues song about it. Feel free to sing along:


The Blender Blues

Went to my doctor (daa da-da)
He looked at my jaw (daa da-da)
Said was ske-wobbedy (daa da-da)
Was breakin' the law (daa da-da)
He took out some bands (daa da-da)
Twanged them round my mouth (daa da-da)
That was three weeks ago (daa da-da)
Please, doc, won't you take them ooooouuuuuut? ...

Puree, baby ... I got them pureed blender blues
If I don't get me some solid bites soon,
Gonna be some no-good, lowdown, dirty bad news.

I woke up this morning (daa da-da)
Had a hankerin' to eat (daa da-da)
I looked in my fridge (daa da-da)
Thought, "How 'bout some meat?" (daa da-da)
My doc says that's fine (daa da-da)
Says he'll let that pass (daa da-da)
I can have all I want (daa da-da)
As long as it fits in my glaaaaaaassss. ...

Puree, baby ... I got them pureed blender blues
If I don't get me some solid bites soon,
Gonna be some no-good, lowdown dirty bad news.

Ain't havin' no steak (daa da-da)
No chicken or chips (daa da-da)
Nothing that crunches (daa da-da)
Just stuff that sips (daa da-da)
I went to McDonald's (daa da-da)
Man, what a mistake (daa da-da)
"Want fries with that, sugar?" (daa da-da)
No, all I can have is a shhaaaaaaaaake. ...

Puree, baby ... I got them pureed blender blues
If I don't get me some solid bites soon,
Gonna be some no-good, lowdown dirty bad news.


Now, right at the end, there'd be a killer guitar solo, but I don't know how to play guitar, so you'll just have to imagine it.

4 comments:

Brandyleigh35 said...

OMG Vaughn, that wss GREAT! totally hilarious, and OMG I can so totally relate and I haven't even had my surgery yet! LOL...

Good to see that you definitely have kept your humor through all of this, I think it really helps in the healing process. I mean you have to be able to laugh at yourself or it would be just miserable!

Too funny! definitely made my day to read though! I gotta copy and paste this on my blog ok?

Jim Ware said...

Strange. I was imagining what it would sound like if you tried to sing your song. Then I could hear it! Yes, it was strange. Keep up the good work!

57rdi said...

Thanks, Brandy. Jim, why would that be strange? I think the word you're looking for is "scary."

-Vaughn

Betsy said...

Lol that was funny
Took the words right out of my mouth.
I am in my second week of recovery and I am going mad!