Another step toward normalcy

I head back to work tomorrow. I've been gone since April 9, the day before my surgery. Although I've truly enjoyed the time off (though, I could think of better ways to spend an extended leave), I'm also ready to get back to work. I'm lucky in that I do something I enjoy. I'm a newspaper editor and have been for most of the last two decades. It's something I love doing. Well, usually. No job is absolutely perfect. But, for me, this comes pretty close. I've really started to miss it and, well, I'm getting bored and antsy. I've tried to refrain from poking my fingers into things while I've been gone and, with just a few minor exceptions, I think I succeeded. But, now those fingers are itching to get back to work. Did you just hear a groan? That was probably my staff. ...

I'm going to start back not quite full time and see how things go. I'm also lucky in that my employer has been and continues to be very flexible and supportive in this, something I've greatly appreciated and something that I know isn't enjoyed by everyone.

So, I know I keep promising before/after photos. And, I still want to put them up. Here's what I'm thinking: You have photos throughout that you can compare if you really want to, starting with what I was like before and continuing right after surgery and through weeks one, two and three. The thing is, I still have the splint in and it really alters my appearance, especially my lips and cheeks. Imagine wearing a mouthguard like football players do. It's not that I'm embarrassed about how it looks, but I want to give an accurate picture. So, I'm going to wait until after that comes out -- in a few weeks, I hope -- and then do the before and after presentation. In the meantime, feel free to click on those links if you just can't wait. Oh, and in case you're still in suspense: the Tom Cruise/George Clooney look didn't turn out.

One of the blogosphere folks I converse with regularly, Brandy, is about a week out from her surgery and we were e-mailing about expectations, preparations and the like recently. We touched on something that I think played a major role in my being able to maintain forward progress and a fairly good attitude throughout these past, oh, five weeks now.

I got released from the hospital after just one night (thank god, because hospitals seem to be the worst place to be unless you're on death's door). The next morning, my first morning back home, I admit that I didn't feel all that motivated. But, I resolved that I was going to eat at least three times that day and drink eight glasses of water. Those were my only goals. They weren't all that ambitious and they were definitely achievable. And, I did achieve them. It was progress.

Having that sort of measurable progress is a great help, I think, as you go through what really is a very slow healing process. For me, instead of concentrating on how I looked or felt, I focused on goals like: "today, four meals and eight glasses of water, plus a short walk." It wasn't really a conscious thing, where I sat back and said, "Hey, great job, Vaughn. Just look at the stains on your shirt. You must've eaten -- what? -- four times today!" But, I do think it kept me moving forward in small, positive steps every day.

That's not to say that it was easy. It's still tough some days. But, I have "accomplishments" that I can point to every day. For me, that's gone a long way toward inching my way back to normalcy.

One last thing I wanted to mention that I forgot about on the last post. I asked the doctor about my waking up during the night. He confirmed what others have said and what I suspected. I'm still swollen. Even my tongue (!) is swollen, he said. It'll take some time for that to subside. As it does, things will continue to improve. His prescription? Patience.